My boyfriend and I broke up.  We’d been having some communication issues. These issues ultimately led to a boundary violation for me. 

He became what I considered hostile, overwrought, and potentially violent. This wasn’t in person; it was via text. It was enough that I told him, I was afraid to be alone with him, so I wasn’t coming over. At this point, I need to mention that I have a history of abusive relationships. He knows this.

He called. I repeated my statement. I’m afraid of you right now. I’m afraid to be alone with you. I’m afraid you’ll hurt me. He kept trying to talk me into coming over.  He kept telling me he’d never hurt me. How could I think that? He loves me. And he may be right. But what he didn’t do was stop when I asked him to.  I said he scared me – and I said I was afraid to be alone with him, but he persisted. Enough that I yelled at him. I yelled that I was afraid of him. That trying to convince me come over was only making me afraid.

I don’t think he’s a bad person. I don’t know if he would have been a physical threat to me.  All I know is in that moment, he ignored my boundary. He ignored my fear. I knew that I couldn’t trust him. I don’t know if I can trust him again. I hate feeling this way, and I’m heartbroken and sad. But that fear feeling doesn’t go away.

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