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My sailor invited me to a class at our local witchy shop on love magic.  I admit to not being a fan of “love magic” – but it sounded like fun.  In talking about the class, he actually had very sweet reasons for wanting to go.

So I said I was in.  I asked about RSVPing for the class because I was going to be at the shop for another event.  I figured it would be a way that I could buy his ticket too, and surprise him.

He realized there might be a potential scheduling issue.  A few days later he said we couldn’t go together.  Now, I understood going in that he and his wife are not totally out.  Although, I did think they were out at the shop.  That could just be my misunderstanding.  I know that she has a family member who sometimes attends events – and there have been a few events where we had to be not together.

valentines-day-victorian-traditions-with-good-looking-for-the-most-beautiful-victorian-valentines-day-decorations-to-reference     heartflowers

But… but I don’t know why it bothered me that we couldn’t go.

I’ve been straight forward that I cannot tolerate being shamed or treated as a homewrecker.  I said I absolutely wouldn’t stand for that at the shop.  Maybe I felt a twinge of that.  Like I’m good enough to make out with at the shop, but I’m not good enough to be in love with.  Which isn’t really fair, or accurate, as he invited me.  He wanted to go.  His wife wasn’t ok with it.  And I do understand being concerned about getting outed.  People talk – and if they are talking about us, it could easily get back to her sister. I’m sure that’s not a comfortable conversation to have.

I think it makes me wonder how comfortable she is if he and I have an emotional connection.  It wasn’t an issue at Lupercalia. Or any of the other rituals we’ve attended (except the one her sister was at).  So it just feels like there’s something to love aspect.

Where does this leave me? I need confirmation that him being in love with me is ok with her. And I think I may need a boundary at the shop.  Perhaps making it a totally platonic space is the way to go.