Sharing this gorgeous poem about Hypatia and the fear that using reason (especially a woman using reason) inspires
Between the ages of 19 and 20, I was involved with an abusive man. I doubt this is a surprise. I stayed, even when I realized that he was hurting me. It only gets uglier ahead… Continue reading
I’ve tried to avoid fucking with men on dating sites. I generally respond as politely as I can, even when I’m rejecting them.
Today, I gave in. I woke up to a message of “sup” – seriously, that was it. Normally, I’d ignore the sender and wait for the inevitable “you’re a bitch or whatever” reply. Today, as I looked at “sup” – my mind instantly went to Dracula. So I replied: “You will I trust, excuse me that I do not join you, but I have dined already, and I do not sup.” – He hasn’t replied, but he has looked at my profile 3 more times.
Film versions of Dracula changed the line from supping to drinking wine (or in the case of Dracula, not drinking wine). The word play makes a better joke (and Stoker wasn’t known for his jokes). Also, I suspect that contemporary audiences wouldn’t understand the use of sup as a verb.
I genuinely try not to troll anyone. My understanding of “trolling” is to purposefully incite another person to anger. To me, that isn’t discourse. I’ve seen this behavior used to derail far to many conversations in real life and online. In the online dating world, most of the time I think trolling fails to address the actual problem (in my experience the actual problem being the sheer number of horribly misogynistic messages I receive). However, today I went for it.
I am sadden, that armed with what is considered the last of the gothic novels, I did not get a chance to respond with other choice passages… However, it may be an option in the future.
I was happy to see that the entire novel is listed on Sacred Texts. Com
My grandfather died today. It’s a reminder of how complicated family is.
My sister called me crying (I was working, so she left me a voicemail). I’m sure my mother is upset, but I got out of work too late to call her.
I’m not glad that he is dead, but I’m also not crying over it. My sister remembers good times with him. What do I remember? I remember the time he pulled me down the stairs. I remember the times he or my grandmother belittled me. I don’t ever remember them supporting me – I remember the time my grandmother was angry with me about something, so she pulled my hairy so hard she tore it out. I remember he didn’t stop her.
I haven’t seen much of then over the last decade or so. Maybe a few hours on the off Christmas or thanksgiving (they always preferred going to some other relative’s house.
They became strangers to me over the years. I left my mother’s house for good at 18. I never invited my grandparents to any of my apartments, nor to my new house. I moved far enough away, that dropping out of daily stuff was easy.
At my mother’s request, I attended his 90th birthday. He was a frail, tired old man. I don’t hate him. But he was also a stranger (as were my other family members – I couldn’t even identify my cousins’ kids when my husband asked who they were).
Family is complicated. My sister is crying, and remembering the “good” times…. I don’t remember being part of those times.
Sexist – check
Misogynist – check
ad hominem attack- check
Also I have no idea what actual aspect of America this meme is commenting on, other than the less than manly military men we have. I wasn’t aware that this was an actual issue. Given the current events in the US, I can think of far more important aspects of American life to comment on. But perhaps my definition of “important” is skewed.
And look something new: toxic masculinity…
When I can, or at least when I’m moved to – I’ll post a variety of memes (the ones I see incessantly on social media. The problem is this meme reinforces stereotype that poor people are literally trash. Do we really need to punch down when attempting to, I presume punch up, at Trump?
Also must we rely on ad hominem attacks? Really are Trumps actual ideas so hard to attack – like hey his actual arguments and ideas are racist. How hard is that?
While people may get a giggle and a smile out of this meme, all it does it perpetuate a toxic view of the poor, imply that Trumps ideas may have merit (after all this does nothing to confront those ideas), and does nothing to further anyone’s thinking on the subjects raised.
I watch a lot of bad TV. I roll my eyes at the cliches. Sometimes show writers cross a line for me – something too egregious for me to ignore. This isn’t a deal breaker moment, but it is troubling.
Dear TV writers,
Stop telling men that “no” means try harder.
I’m watching the “Ghost Whisperer,” admittedly not top quality TV. But also not terrible – it’s feel good TV with ghosts and gorgeous clothes.
The show started to set up a relationship between two of the secondary characters. The best friends of the main characters develop a budding romance. The night if their first date, he stands her up. She is understandably angry. He apologizes. She says thanks, but no thanks for another date. She is clear and direct. The subplot of various following episodes each contain his attempts to “win her back” – stalking her (calling it “not creepy following you” doesn’t make it not stalking). He buys her gifts. In the current episode, he sets up a cafe table and chairs in front of her place of employment (since she declined his coffee date). He sits in front of her place of work – in the real world this could cause her to lose her job – in TV world, she is told “he’ll sit out there all day” grin, wink, nudge nudge…
So character who clearly said “no” just give in – even your “friends” think you should.
*update* so the creepy storyline culminates with the widow’s dead husband seeming to torment the rejected-suitor. Aside for the show clearly trying to generate sympathy for him, I was onboard. I have no sympathy for him. She said no, and he is stalking her – ghost torment, ok in my book. Alas, it turns out dead husband is actually trying to get rejected guy and his wife together. Ugh.
Maybe the show writers intended their choice of “Every Breath You Take” to be ironic rather than romantic.
Epic writing fail.
TV writers, maybe you could rethink promoting stalking and stop promoting a lack of consent as an “obstacle”
I was hoping to have some sort of interesting, or perhaps funny story to tell… Instead, I got stood up. No show, no call, no nothing. As a first foray back into dating, this is not a positive – but I guess it is not a negative.
Dear George: thanks for address points about sexual violence that no one brought up. The complaints about sexual violence in GoT have largely been centered around 2 points, neither of which do you address.
1. Rape without consequence for the victim. Essentially she just brushes it off and moves on – if you are so concerned about accuracy, why not look at how actual people suffer? Seriously in the US, 1in 6 women could help you out there.
2. Rape as plot device. I.e. women can’t have any other motivation to do anything unless they have been raped. The TV writers can’t think of any other reason for a woman to be motivated to do something for any other reason? There are decades of other stereotypical motivations for women you could choose from: protecting her kids, spurned in love, in love, religious conviction, to name a few.
No criticisms, at least that I have seen, have said you can’t show rape. All of them have been clearly about the above 2 issues.
As to your claims about historical accuracy, you chose to include dragons, magic, a giant ice wall, zombies, magic tree people… I’m not a medieval historian, but I am 100% certain NONE of those choices are historic. None. So help me out here George, what part of being historically “honest” is a cult where I can literally wear someone else’s face?
What part of historically accurate is rape victims suffering no consequence? What part of rape as the only motivator for women is historically accurate?
You mentioned Joan d’Arc her motivation was religious fervor (perhaps mental illness), and a desire to change the world she lived in. Look historically accurate motivation without rape.
Always worth listening to
We make a concerted effort to mine history and folklore while attempting to discover where witches come from, and more importantly, just what they do.
Download: New World Witchery – Episode 77
We draw a good bit upon Aradia, by C.G. Leland, for questions about witch mythology and abilities.
For a nice rundown of different witchcraft traditions (as touched upon in this episode) I heartily recommend the post “Introduction to Traditional Witchcraft,” by Sarah Anne Lawless, and her series of posts on various witchcraft traditiosn found in that article.
The Element Encyclopedia of Witches & Witchcraft, by Judika Illes, has lots of lovely background on the history and folklore of witches. It’s out of print, but you can usually find it secondhand. You can also check her Weiser Field Guide to Witches, which covers some of the same sort of ground. I’d…
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